Black Women Hating on Each Other.. Why?!

This is me. Dark skin with locs. Two things I love but two things I believe Black women discriminate against amongst each other. Let me put this in perspective for you.

Dark Skin VS Light Skin. Unfortunately in the Black community there has become a split between the shades of color that make our community beautiful. As you can see i’m dark-skinned and I love my shade but as a child I remember hearing negative comments about being dark-skinned. Other black female children would say dark skin is ugly and light skin is better. As I get older I still realize the discrimination Black women have amongst each other. There’s “#teamdarkskin” and “#teamlightskin” and all these other things that separate Black women from each other. Even the media takes part in this negativity by lightening dark-skinned models and glamourizing lighter skin shades instead of being equally positive about all the beautiful shades of Black women!

Another thing that is becoming a problem is what I call “The Battle of the Hair”. In our culture we have two basic choices of hair which is natural hair and chemically relaxed hair. In the last couple years I’d say that many Black women have decided to grow their hair out naturally.  I would think this would bring positivity but in some ways it has brought negativity. It seems to be dividing women because some women believe their choice of hair is better instead of encourage diversity through hair in our culture.

These are issues that I’m hoping will dissolve in the future because ALL Black women are beautiful no matter what shade your skin is or the way you decide to wear your hair. This may be cliché to say but beauty is only skin deep. The thing that makes a woman beautiful is what’s on the inside and as Black women we need to encourage each other and remind each other of our inner and outer beauty so we can become a stronger community.

It is time for parents to teach young people early on that in diversity there is beauty and there is strength. We all should know that diversity makes for a rich tapestry, and we must understand that all the treads of that tapestry are equal in value no matter their color.

Maya Angelou
Have you ever dealt with negativity because of your skin or hair choice from other Black women? How did it affect you and how did you deal with it? What’s your opinion on this topic? Share your thoughts!
Peace& Blessings

5 responses to “Black Women Hating on Each Other.. Why?!

  1. YoungBlackFemale, I couldn’t agree with you any more. I hate that races can hate each other within themselves. It is important to understand that we are all a family and that we need to stick together within thick and thin. I am a black woman with natural hair and I am constantly looked at as if i were less or not as good, as other women who wear weaves or have long hair. It shouldn’t matter, right? All that matters is that I am confident in myself and not care what other people think of me. Good luck with continuing your page, feel free to check out my blog and please leave a comment sometime. (: Have a lovely new year!

    Blithe M.

  2. I could not agree more. Growing up I was always hated on for having curly hair by white girls because they couldn’t get a curl. When I blew my hair out straight on the days I wanted it straight I didn’t heart the end of it from the black community. “You are trying to be white”, “Why don’t you be who you are” “You’re ashamed of being part black” Etc Etc. It was horrible growing up because I knew who I was. Puerto Rican & Black mostly but down the lines there was some white. To me none of that mattered anyway. You are who you express yourself as. (Thus explaining the reason why a white person can be the N word.) Anyway I was always taught to love unconditionally and love every person for who they are. I was even taught to love my enemies because they were that way for a reason. My skin color is light to pasty in the winter and caramel to chocolate in the summer but I don’t base beauty on skin color or hair style. Many people get relationships twisted and lack the knowledge and maturity to chose partners and friends that is why they get caught up in the light skinned dark skinned battle and categories. Since I was a child I liked rock music so you can imagine the negativity I got from my black side of the social scale. My culture is very rich and diverse but it comes with a price. No one is ever satisfied with anything and will always judge you. So you have to be what you are feeling like and not care what anyone else says. If they don’t like it..Oh well. It’s very unfortunate that you had to go through what you did growing up and it’s a shame that there are still people out there like this. It’s even more a shame that the discrimination is among blacks themselves.

  3. I have brown skin and really haven’t been treated badly by other black women because of it BUT when it comes to my hair….oh Lord! I’ve been persecuted by my own family in this regard because they’re so conservative & I guess have their own self-hatred to deal with.

    One day I just woke up & was determined to love myself….as is.

  4. Its sad that we are so competitive among ourselves, whether its skin color, hair, shoes, houses, purses, etc, etc, etc. I’m so tired of it and for this reason don’t keep many female friends. Our insecurities keep us from having sincere relationships.

    I have light skin and natural, medium-length hair. I never considered this being an advantage until a dark-skin girl at work pointed it out to me. In her case, and I think in quite a few cases, we use these as excuses for why we were denied an opportunity. In her case, she needed to dedicate more time at work to WORKING and not socializing. Yet, she wanted to play the blame game and degrade my work. Note, my boss was a dark-skin woman and a good friend of mine in the office is brown-skin. I was never taught to see color, especially within my own race, and won’t be tainted now.

    Yes, we must embrace our diversity and take pride in what we see in the mirror, no matter how light/dark, skinny/thick, short/tall. We are all beautiful and we don’t all feel beautiful everday!

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