My apologies for being away for almost a month. I was having some ups and downs. You know how life tends to grab a hold of you and doesn’t want to let go for awhile? It was one of those months. I’m back though and full of thoughts and ideas. With that being said I’ve been having some troubles……
When I was growing up and still wearing beads and barrettes I was told I could do anything I want to do and to live my dreams.. Sounds so exciting and uplifting right?! But as I got older I realized that the people surrounding me weren’t living their dreams they were paying bills. Coming from a single parent home I soon realized that dreams were to be put to the side and responsibilities were to be handled. My mother had a crazy work ethic. She would work 2 to 3 jobs to provide for us and keep our heads above water. Luckily for me I have caught on to my mom’s work ethic and I am independent at 23. I have my own apartment, car, etc but is this what life is all about? In comes my troubles……
I have come to realize that living my dream is my life goal. Ultimately I would love to do community service and join an organization such as Americorps along with some other things. I also realize that I would have to give up my current lifestyle and completely adjust to a different lifestyle to live my dream. Do I continue to live this safe and stable lifestyle or try something new so that I can have a new result? In all actuality I don’t see myself working my current job forever or living in this apartment while I just make ends meet. Even though I know I want more I must admit the world outside of what I know is scary.
2012 is going to be my year though. I will figure out these questions in my mind and change will occur. Like Ms. Minaj said..
“We come alive in a time of fear..
And I ain’t got no mother fucking time to spare.”